So my alarm clock is quite possibly the most incredibly disruptive vexation I have ever encountered. I'm relatively certain that every other teenager has similar thoughts each morning but none as thoroughly ridiculous as mine. From the moment I wake up to the time I arrive at school, my brain is entirely incapable of function. I have been the main character in a series of comical escapades involving me walking around in an unrealistic haze. (My friends have described it as "getting high off sleep"). You probably get the point by now, so here are my morning shenanigans.
The Force
Typically, I unplug my alarm clock during the weekend because I have photophobia when I'm trying to go to sleep and the little blue screen displaying the time is intolerable. One night when I had a sleepover, I had forgotten not only to unplug my clock, but also to turn off my alarm which is set at an unreasonably early hour. We had stayed up into the wee hours of the morning as is custom at sleepovers, so when the alarm woke us up hours before the sun was supposed to, I was more out of sorts than usual. As the alarm diligently proceeded to beep at our faces, I decided, like anybody would, to turn it off. So what did I do? I held my palm toward the clock and thought really, really hard about it turning off. My friend asked me if I was going to stop it and when I said that yes, that was indeed what I was doing, she realized that I was "high off sleep" so she unplugged it for me. I didn't see her complete this action so I thought that I had done it with my mind. Satisfied with my work, I went back to sleep. When I actually woke up, I vaguely remembered having a dream about Star Wars and quickly realized that I had thought that I was a Jedi the first time I woke up and that I had tried to use The Force to turn my alarm off.
Photoshop
I am an avid photographer and Photoshop is one of my best friends. So one morning while I was doing my hair and washing my face and other stuff people do while looking in the mirror, I had the brilliant idea to remove my acne! So I proceeded to use the healing tool (a tool in photoshop that blends imperfections into the rest of the image by sampling the surrounding area) by reaching for the computer mouse, but when I didn't find it, I immediately realized that "Oh, this is real life." and "No, I can't substitute make-up for Photoshop because I am not a digital image."
Now, I desperately wish that there was a real-life Photoshop that I could install into my mirror and use to fix blemishes because I truly hate make-up.
I Hate Ryan
Do not be deceived. I am a nerd. I am part of the classical jazz band at our school. I am the pianist. So one lovely Tuesday night, I dreamed about said band. In fact, I was having this dream at the moment my alarm clock went off. At this time in my dream, one of my dear friends, Ryan, was playing his viola. It sounded so lovely! Until it didn't. And when his playing didn't sound lovely anymore, he sounded just like my alarm clock. So I woke up. But Ryan would not stop playing his viola! I slapped the snooze button with all the force I could muster at 5:30 in the morning and proceeded to sleep. But Ryan would not stop playing his viola. I attacked the snooze button again. And Ryan still would not stop playing his viola! This went on until I had hit snooze at least seven times. That is when I was able to gather the only little shred of confidence that I could find and realize that Ryan was not the one waking me up. In fact, he was probably still asleep. But I was still really mad at him. All day.
